– Have you guys
met Litigious Jay? – I call it right down the line. – Ever since Pete
Davidson’s NDA. You got real into the
fucking litigation game. – Can I sure someone for
slandering me in the audience? You’re not funny! – Libel!
– He’s attacking my livelihood.
– Jay Oakerson on the libel tour. – That’s funny.
– I’m holding you liable. I’m holding you liable. – Get off the stage, fat ass. You’re liable. I’ll have Christine go
around with a clipboard taking names and info. – Dude, that’s great. You guys are gonna start a
law firm, Oakerson and Evans. Oakerson, Oakerson, and Evans. – No one’s going to that. You need one Bergerstein
in there, dude. And Christine’s not cutting it. (upbeat music) (bells jingling) – [Announcer] And now “The
Bonfire” Holiday Spectacular With Big Jay
Oakerson & Dan Soder live from the Village
Underground in New York City. (crowd cheering) (upbeat rock music) – Wow, holy shit. What is up, New York City? – Welcome to “The
Bonfire” Holiday Show. – Extravanganza. – Thank you very
much for coming out, sharing your holiday season
– Hell yeah, we’re packed. – with us.
– We’re packed. – We haven’t done a live
holiday show in a while, so we had to get
it back together and come to the
Village Underground. – It was two years coming. – Jay, you’re Jewish,
but you like Christmas. – Who doesn’t like
Christmas more than– – That was my Byron Allen. – Hanukkah, yeah.
– Jay, you like Christmas. – Jay, you’re a Christmas man. – Jay, what’s in your stocking? – You’re so cute. You work out? – You know how great
it is I get to say that on a daily basis? – To Mike Vecchione. – Mike Vecchione, you work out? – You work out? – He’s like, “Not
today, I’m gonna go “tomorrow morning.”
– That’s my favorite Byron Allen transition
of all time. Hey, welcome back to Comics
Unleashed, Mike Vecchione. You work out? He was so ready to go.
– He goes right to that bit. What’s up with the feedback? Is this gonna be a problem? I sound like I’m
talking in an orb. – What’s happening? Are we in the phantom realm? – Yeah. Did Fugelsang fucking
terrorize this holiday show? – Dude.
– Is he our grinch? – Wouldn’t that be
great if he’s wearing an electrician’s
onesie and just? ♪ You’re a mean
one, Mr. Fugelsang ♪ – He is all Ichabod
Crane-y too, man. ♪ Your turtlenecks are tight ♪ – He does have Broadway hair. I bet he would sing angry at us. – He could definitely
go to a song. ♪ It’s my studio, it’s
your studio, mwahahaha ♪ – Such an inside beef
we’re doing at a live show. – They get it. If we start a Fuck
John Fugelsang chant, that’s going right to HR. Let’s not do it, I’ll
say let’s not do it. I am so excited to be here, man. I see some of the
usual suspects here, but of course we have
to introduce anyone who doesn’t know our crew. To our amazing crew
who puts us together. Do they put it together with
a lot ear-jarring sounds? – Yeah.
– Sure. – Are some of you
guys gonna leave with fucking bad headaches? – Yeah.
– Goddamn right. – Vertigo? – Get ready to wake up tomorrow with one side of your
face feeling different. – But why don’t we tell you
guys who is here with us? The entire “Bonfire” crew
hanging out with us today. Of course, we have your
favorite producer Black Lou. – Black Lou!
(crowd applauds) (crowd cheers) – Making us not racist
for four years now. (audience laughs) – You are the wind beneath our
wings of inappropriate jokes. – Of course, would the
show ever be complete without the laughter and the tech savvy of the
love of my life, everybody. How about it for
Christine Evans is here? – Yeah! (crowd applauds)
(crowd cheers) Yes! Christine’s out there
producing every goddamn show. – Or she’s getting laid. Everyone’s talking about
those drops a lot lately. – [Christine] Oh,
you wanna fuck me? Oh, now you wanna fuck me? – I was gonna do my impression. I’m glad we actually
got the real. – Christine through a microphone
is an experience, dude. That was, oh, that hit me in the bottom of the spine.
– I love it. It’s like a wheat grass shot. – Goes down acid-y. (Dan groans)
You know it’s go for ya. – Let’s get some
stuff done today. (crowd laughing) – Of course, the show would
not be complete, either, without, I mean. We travel around
a lot, me and Dan. – Yeah.
– I get asked questions about one member of our
crew more than anybody. He is an enigma. He is everyone’s favorite. – I feel like if
we were a company, I would make him the CEO. – Oh, for sure, at
least a figure head. – He’s the one out
there cutting ribbons, letting people know what
The Bonfire Industries does. – The mighty one
himself, everybody. Jacob Battat is here with us. (crowd applauds)
(crowd cheers) – Yeah, get out there. – I don’t know where
any of them are. – I do, I just point there. – There he is. Yeah, wave to him, Jacob. – Greatest wave in the
history of live Bonfires was fucking Austin when he
hit ’em with the hat. – Came out with the hat. – Unprompted, didn’t tell
us he was gonna do that. Just fucking gah! – So country western. Jacob.
– Yes? – You don’t have a microphone? – [Jacob] I have it. – Sick production. – [Jacob] It’s on. – Put it on. – [Jacob] It’s on. – There ya are. Jacob Battat, everybody. You’re amped up for this night. There’s a lotta fun coming. – [Jacob] There is. – You’re very good. – I’m excited.
– You made us practice more than we’ve practiced
anything in our entire lives. – Tiger Mom’d us through
the whole process. – Jay, the crowd’s
gonna know if you’re not really playing the cello. – He just goes, “Again!” Ahh!
– Jacob. My fingers are hurting. Can I just pretend I’m playing? Play!
– Oh no, piglet. Do it again! Jacob, I can’t do
Winnie the Pooh anymore. Do it again! – By the way, I’m
feeling festive. I don’t know if you can tell. I did my best today to not
wear a black sweatshirt. – Hey! (crowd applauds) Who’s going through it? He’s getting out
of the goth phase. He’s coming into his own. Welcome to earth tone “Bonfire”. – And just when I come
out of the darkness and into the light
with a nice festive light green olive, I’ll call it, Dan decides to dress
like he’s gonna go bash up a Mexican grocery
store with Edward Norton. (crowd laughs) – I’m just sayin’, I
remember when it belonged to the white man. – Dan Soder used to
work right in that fucking grocery
store over there. Now it’s taken over by a
bunch of border jumpers. You gonna sit there
and take that? – I drink beers with my
knee bouncing all the time. You know what, bro? I’m just fuckin’
sittin’ over here. I don’t like that
guy’s fuckin’ attitude. – I’m sick of talkin’ about it. Let’s do something. – Yeah, dude, it’s
fuckin’ slippin’ away. – Man, the bomber jacket
has gotten a bad rap, huh? – Yeah, it’s a cool jacket. – It’s so sleek and stylish looking.
– It is. – It doesn’t express your
beliefs in the world. – Not at all. – It’s just slimming and nice. – Drinking this coffee and
not shaving makes me look like a low-rent
Cinemax detective. – Oh, for sure. – Are you sure where your
husband went, Mrs. Bambi? – This is the way when
plain clothes cops think they’re dressing
in plain clothes. – What’s up, bros? – What, this isn’t
what gang members wear? I’m wearing T-shirt
and dungarees. – Hey, how ya guys doin’? I grew up here, I
grew up in Bed-Stuy. – Jacob, your mic still working? – [Jacob] Yes. – Hell yeah, that means
the tech is intact and that is all thanks
to the man, the myth, the fucking legend, everybody. DJ Lou Witzki. (crowd cheers)
– Where is he? Where the fuck is he? Oh my god. You just get him at his seat. – [Man On Recording] This
show is about new beginnings. I get a lot of pussy, pussy. Let me see your pussy. Oh la la la, pussy! (upbeat rock music) ♪ Your own personal ♪ ♪ Jesus ♪ – [Woman On Recording]
Eat my pussy, Jesus. (upbeat rock music) ♪ DJ Lou ♪ – Yes!
– Hard win. Come on! – [Woman On Recording]
Eat my pussy. – Dude, that’s the best. I never thought I would
hear a Depeche Mode horny old lady mash-up. – Who knew the world was ready for it?
– I’m gonna want that track. I’m gonna text Lou high later,
be like, “Can I have that “for my phone?” (woman moaning) (crowd laughing) – DJ Lou Witzki, everybody. (crowd cheers)
(crowd applauds) (moaning) They sat him in the second row. – Dude, please tell me he’s
got a two drink minimum. – Wiz, hold him to the coals. – Really fucking make him
pay for every one he has. – He’s taking up real
estate down there. We could be moving tickets. – That could’ve been
two Finnish people who bought tickets
to this by accident. – The Rich Vos
Extravanganza was sold out. They said I could
slide in back here. – You say Lenny
Marcus is here, yeah? He’s very big in my country. – He’s humongous. (crowd laughing) I love the humongous
in other countries, but I-guess-so’s
here in America. – Dude, it’s the best. – Poor Arj Barker, every time
I meet an Australian person, I go, “You know Arj Barker?” They go, “Yeah, of course!” I go that’s not happening
here all the time. – Are you stupid? Of course. All right, don’t
be a dick about it. – Lord Arj Barker? – Yeah, dude, that guy. There’s a couple,
Eddie Ifft, right? – Huge. Any Australians here? – [Audience Member] Woo! – One, what are
the odds of that? Well, it’s New York, I guess. – Do you know either
one of those men that we said their names? – [Audience] Yeah, I do. – Yeah, of course I knew. I saw them both in
soccer stadiums. – Dude.
– Yeah, if you’ve never seen Arj Barker, he only
does a stadium tour. – Dude, did I ever tell you
when I was in Australia? I may have told this,
but I’ll do it quick. We took a transport
bus over to the venue and it was a festival,
we were doing Sydney, and Hannibal Buress
was on there with me, and a bunch of guys from
shitty British comedy I don’t know anything about. What’s that one
cocksuckers name? Fucking Noel Fleming? Fuck him.
– Yeah. Let’s start an
international beef right here at Christmas. – Fuck that guy.
– UK, you’re on notice from “The Bonfire” boys. – He told me before
I went on stage at the Sydney Opera House
if I could tone it down ’cause his Mom’s
in the audience. I said you want to tell
your mother to suck my dick or you want me to tell her? You want to tell her from me? – Absolutely never
told that story. What an insane fucking note
to give on your way out. Hi, if you could, yeah. Who’s been talking
about your wiener? – Dude, there was
another guy from the same whatever shitty show he’s on. Some fat British guy who
I thought was just help. I thought he was just there
to hold jackets and shit. The bus pulls up, the transport
to the Sydney Opera House, and there is a mob
of people waiting and Hannibal, I don’t wanna
oversell that I think even he, as well did I, go,
“Holy shit, dude. “Hannibal got famous as fuck.” He was the first
person off the bus and they almost crowd surfed him to touch this old
jacket holder man. They were like, “Who is this? “Is he security?”
– Move, move! – Oh god, I touched this wart
nose fucking whatever guy. – Hey, these people, you
ever get a hold of a tape that doesn’t go right? – I guess the moral of the whole story
– What’s the deal with Gary? Is fuck British comedy, dude. – It would be nice to know
that there’s a British podcast right now somewhere being like,
“Fucking Americans all like “suck my dick.” – The only British
podcast I listen to is if they’re doing
American jokes. Who wants to listen
to that shit? I only wanna hear British
people tell me sad shit. – And that was
how the war began. – Yes! – I get it! I totally get that.
– I write you home with sorrow, much
sorrow in my heart as I feel I’ll be
deployed for much longer. – The children died of disease. The fields once quiet again. – All their comedy sounds
like (speaks gibberish). – (speaks gibberish) – (speaks gibberish) Oi, Nigel! ♪ Oh say can you see ♪ – Now this jacket’s starting
to feel right on me. – America. – I’m saying right
now, yeah, no. – Fuck British people. White British people,
British people. – This is gonna be a fun episode that I don’t remember
that part of it. Then we’re gonna
get a tweet like, “You’ve got a lot
of campers here.” Aw fuck yeah, when was that? Oh, a holiday show, shit, sorry. – Well, if they’re
getting it in Europe, they’re stealing it off
YouTube, so fuck them anyway. – There you go. Have you guys met Litigious Jay? – I call it right down the line. – Ever since Pete
Davidson’s NDA. You get real into the
fucking litigation game. – Can I sue someone for
slandering me in the audience? You’re not funny. – Libel!
– He’s attacking my livelihood.
– Jay Oakerson on the libel tour. – That’s funny.
– I’m holding you liable. I’m holding you liable. – Get off the stage, fat ass. You’re liable. I’ll have Christine go
around with a clipboard taking names and info. – Dude, that’s great. You guys are gonna start a
law firm, Oakerson & Evans. Oakerson, Oakerson, and Evans. – No one’s going to that. You need one Bergerstein
in there, dude. Christine’s not cutting it. Oakerson and Christine. – Sounds like a hell
of a blanket company. (Jay laughs) Try out Keikico. Hey! – Does anybody here
have a Keikico? – Yes.
– Was that what that wave was?
– Yeah. – One guy answered
very confidently. – Life-changing, right, dude? – [Audience Member] Absolutely. – And he’s used to
being in Asian finery. – He also said–
– He lives his life in silk gowns. – When you said does anyone
have a Keikico blanket, the way he said it like
he was gonna stand up and be like, “I’m
Stanley Keikico.” I made the blankets you enjoy. – It does sound Hawaiian. I have made that mistake before. – Did I here a Normand drop? – [Mark] ‘Ey. – That sounds like
a See and Say. – Ah.
– Ahh! – Ahh!
– Yeah! – Oh guys, we forgot to
tell you we’re gonna do goat meditation this year. – Everyone partner up. – Goat yoga, fucking
goat yoga time. – I know we announced
everybody in the crew, but would a live show
even be possible at all if we didn’t have live
Mark Normand drops happening in the room? – [Mark] Yo! – He’s somewhere. He knows.
– Hey hey. – Yeah. He pops up, he might be at
your table, you don’t know. (Mark laughs) Who knows, we’re all mixed in. Jacob’s floating
around over there. Lou’s sitting at a table. – Lou’s just eating wings. He’s like, “I totally forgot
we had a show tonight.” – [Mark] Classic Black! (crowd laughing) – I should’ve prefaced that
with White Lou’s at a table. – [Mark] Whoops, sorry! – I like the whoops mistake
was that it wasn’t racist. Oh shit, sorry, White Lou. I didn’t mean to say
something like that to you. Who’s your DJ’s assistant, Lou? You don’t have a microphone. There’s no drop at all. We’ll never know. – [Mark] Oh yeah,
heh heh heh heh. – Do you know this young lady or are you storming a table? You know her. – He goes, “Scoot over. “Time for me to shine.” – Nothing gets me– – [Mark] I love
her back splashes. – Nothing gets the girls
creaming their jeans like working an iPad
through a board. – On the way down, he was like, “Shh shh shh, I’m
finding the drops.” – Apapapapapapapa. – Ah, ah.
– Apapapapa. We never know if
it’s Lou or Mark. – He could leave at any time. – Is he even here? – Oh yeah.
– We never. We absolutely never know. – [Mark] You guys
look like a before and after for boarding school. (audience laughs) – I come out and I go. Sir, I’m a changed man now. – We’re both wearing
khaki olive color. – I told you, welcome
to earth tone “Bonfire”. – Should we shout out? We have some fucking show
favorite, fan favorite fun friends here tonight. That’s a lotta F, huh?
– Lotta F. – Fun family fun favorites. – It’s a “Bonfire” Christmas, so you gotta have
the family over. – Can we show some love to some
of our people that are here? – Yeah, sure. – You wanna throw a round first? We got a bunch. – Let’s start at the top. – At the top? That was the exact thing I
was afraid I was gonna say. I create a pecking order,
that’s what happened, and you did it. – I fucking did it.
– I handed it off to you because I thought you would
– I fumbled it. – be organically diplomatic. – I fumbled it. – Dan, what do you think? He goes, “If I’m saying
who’s most important, “let’s say that.”
– Dude, you don’t understand that the power that this
jacket brings is intoxicating. – I know, and now
everyone you look at, and don’t say their name first. – I know.
– Goes and he goes, “Not them.”
– I go. – No, not.
– I almost have to steer back into it and you go,
“Jacob Battat’s here!” No, say it. And I go, “DJ Lou?” – I’ll tell ya who
is here that’s gonna make the crowd very excited
if they don’t recognize him and only know the voices. How about it for, from
one of my favorite moments in “Bonfire” history,
the Shane Gillis produced the Peyronies bit for us, and sitting right over here
to our left, everybody, is Kilah and Beezer
from the Peyronies bit. – First couple of Philadelphia. – [Christine] Go birds. – Go birds. – Go birds.
– The first couple of Philadelphia. – The first couple
of Philadelphia. Now you’re so worried about– – The Duke and Duchess
of Philadelphia in “The Bonfire” fiefdom. – We give so many
titles out to everybody and make them feel so special, I think we have
to change it back ’cause you just said the
first couple of “The Bonfire”, but there’s Nicole
G. and Kevin D. – I said the first
couple of Philadelphia. – Right, the back pedal. I’m saying I felt that
we’ve pigeonholed ourselves. I’m not blaming you.
– Dude. – I’m saying we’ve lost our shit.
– I’m out here Shermaning all day. I’m running backwards. – Call somebody else a
counselor in front of Falconie. She’ll fucking
throw a hissy fit. – I’ll catch a
blade to the side. – You’re gonna get a
Boston girl beating. Just a pacey pink-titted
fucking hurricane of Pilsner. Give me something else Boston.
– Yelling out fucking Bruins players.
– Yelling out Bruins players. Thank you.
– You’re welcome. – You never let me fall. (crowd laughing) – Dude, you got me out
of that fucking chart. – All right, see who’s
most important here of our friends.
– I got a depth chart. Who am I gonna call number one? Jacob. – Jacob, just keep
going back to Jacob. Jacob’s here. – Jacob goes, “Move
forward, motherfucker.” – Just for the record, Jacob
is here, that’s pretty cool. I’ll tell you who’s here. How about our good
friend Sal Vulcano wherever the fuck he is?
– Oh! – Normand popped! – [Mark] Wow! – It’s pretty cool. – Pretty fucking dope ass cool. Does he have microphone? No. – [Mark] Uh-uh! Oh, you Staten Island trash. – The only thing with
Normand just roaming around, he’s just sniping from
the fucking bushes. (speaks gibberish breathlessly) – [Mark] We all like myrrh. No one delete that. – Sorry, this is a myrrh town. You guys have single-handedly
brought back nobility to Staten Island. Wu-Tang put it on the map and let everybody
know what it was, more than just a trash heap. But it was still not a
place where a person, let’s say dressed like
Dan would be like, “Maybe we’ll go
there for dinner.” And now– – I’ve got a sensible jacket on. I wanna go somewhere nice. – And now you guys
did that, Sal. You and the guys made it a place where maybe we’ll go
for seafood one day. – [Mark] Lotta dams in
Staten Island, lotta dams. Dan looks like Colin Jost
got hit by gamma rays. (crowd laughs) – Are you saying I’m
Jost’s incredible Hulk? – [Mark] Oh yeah. – That makes sense. He goes, “You’re
making me award. “You wouldn’t like me
when I get awkward.” (moans) Hey, what’s up, dude? – Dan’s an awkward starter. Buddy, I was stoned listening
to that this weekend and came across a playlist. I’ll put on playlists and
have Prodigy come across once in a while. Prodigy “Firestarter”
when you were an awkward starter years ago. – I’m an awkward starter.
– I’m an awkward starter. Twisted instigator. – Very uncomfortable. – I’m an awkward starter. – I’m an awkward.
– Dan’s so an awkward starter. – Awkward conversation starter. But then I became the
king of small talk. I became the Barry
Sanders of small talk. – You weaved your way through. – Hey Dan, how’s it been going? Pretty good, man,
nice to see ya. (upbeat music) Elevator shut. And scene. – That’s the only kinda
small talk could be thrown through that
sensible jacket, dude. – Love it.
– It’s the lens of that sensible jacket. – Man, it’s pretty cool.
– It says you got a place to be, I can’t
hold this guy up. – They gave it to me. I got to wear it on Seth
Meyers, so I got to keep it. – Oh yeah, this son
of a bitch came here right from doing Seth Meyers. Huh, how ’bout that?
– Yeah. (crowd applauds) Plugging the special. They were like, “Hey, you
wanna wear this jacket “on Seth Meyers?” I was like, “Yeah.” I was telling Jay we’re so
low-rent that I was just like, “So you guys want
this jacket back?” They’re like,
“It’s your jacket.” You’re like, “Shut up.” – They’re like, “We took money.”
– I was like, “I’m gonna go “wear it to a place
that all my friends “are gonna make
fun of me for it.” – Tell us who it is, dude. – Kenneth Cole.
– Oh! Oh, Black Lou just did a
slide across the floor. (crowd laughing) – I assume the next
time he touches me he’s gonna act like I’m too hot. – (laughs) Kenneth Cole. (imitates sizzling) Too hot, too cold to hold. Damn, that’s slick. – Free stuff, dude. – Free stuff, man. When I do stuff, they have to
give me 3X hip-hop clothes. I got a closet full.
– They go, “We got you a “cool Mark Ecko yellow hoodie.” (crowd laughing) – You’re gonna dress like you’re going to Hillman College today. – Jay, we have a very
sensible North Pole hoodie. – I bought some new clothes. I got some lighter colors.
– Oh, all right. Jacob’s over there producing
like a motherfucker. – What’s he’s doing? – I don’t know. I thin he gets hyped
– What do you keep typing in? – When we keep going to him. – Let’s take a break. – You take a break. – You gotta project into that microphone, dude.
– Also, can you not say that like you wanna break up with us? You go, “Why don’t
we take a break “and get our heads clear?” – See other people or whatever. I don’t care. – [Lou] Jacob’s got a hymen. (crowd laughing) – [Jay] No, dude, he
grew up riding horses. – That shit popped early. No, he’s a gymnast. – Not his fault. He has not got his
period yet, though. Jacob.
– Yes? – Can you talk louder? – I’m right here.
– I think the microphone’s broke. – Yeah, I’m talking
right into it. – Okay, there you
go, there you go. It was very low before. Black Lou, now that
I can see you, buddy. Dan’s jacket, Kenneth Cole. – Oh, it’s beautiful.
– Hell yeah. – First person to get robbed. – I swear to God.
– Black Lou’s my Hitch. (crowd laughing) – [Lou] Jacob’s too. – I’ll tell you what. It was a dulled down reaction. I thought Black Lou
was gonna spin in place and land in a sparkly jacket
when he came out of the spin. I don’t know black people
as good as I think I do. – I thought Dan looked
good for his special. Also, I like your outfit.
– Thanks, dude. You wanna kiss? – I watched your special
on my couch, no shirt, wrapped in a Keikico. (crowd laughs) And that’s the truth. – I didn’t know you were making – I’m not making this up.
– sensual Jacob burritos. What a–
– That’s cool, Jacob. I got a new shirt, too. – [Jacob] I do like your shirt. – No, just fucking, he’s talking
about Dan’s other outfits. – Sorry.
– Can you throw me one? – Sorry, I’ve hit a
new phase of my life. – [Jacob] I’ve
complimented your– – Fashion Dan? – Yeah.
– Oh, shit. – Are you kidding me? I got Jacob wrapped up in a
Keikico furry blanket naked? – Oh my god, dude. That should be September
on your calendar. (crowd laughing) Deer hoof chairs all
around you and shit. Damn, Jacob, all right,
we’ll take a break ’cause you want to. – [Jacob] Thank you. – You run this bitch, dude. Authority, Jacob. – Do it.
– Take a break, dudes. – Take a break, dudes. (crowd laughs) – I love you so much.
– This show is about new beginnings.
– That’s right. We’ll be right back, everybody. It’s “The Bonfire”
Holiday Extravaganza. – Yeah!
– We’re not saying Christmas or Hanakkuh, but you know. – Blow on.
– Dan’s thinking Kwanzaa. – [Dan] Always. (bells jingling) ♪ Keep the flow down ♪ ♪ Stop it to the top ♪ ♪ Dead rats ♪ ♪ Welcome to the flow now ♪ ♪ Welcome to the flow ♪ ♪ Welcome to the flow,
welcome to the flow now ♪ ♪ Welcome to the flow
flow flow da da ♪ (upbeat techno music)
(cat meowing) – Welcome back to “The
Bonfire” live holiday show from the Village Underground. (crowd cheers)
(crowd applauds) I’m Dan Soder, that’s
Big Jay Oakerson. This is Comedy Central
Radio Sirius XM 95. The techno music you heard
on the way back, it’s true. We needed to bring it back. – Yeah, it’s a well
underused thing in “The Bonfire” universe. It’s in our possession
at all times. – At all times. – And we only pull it out
once every two years it seems. (crowd laughing) You gotta show
your love right now because in the house we
have a rare appearance from DJ Dead Rat. Light him up! – Light him up, boys! (upbeat techno music) ♪ Flow flow flow flow oh oh ♪ – DJ Dead Rat, DJ Dead Rat. ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ Welcome to the flow now ♪ – I love that he
has the 7/11 gloves so you can touch
your phone and shit. – [Dan] The fucking ones
with the tips on the end, that’s great. I don’t even notice that.
– It’s the best. – I don’t like it, guys. – You don’t like
what, DJ Dead Rat? – Yeah, it’s really
embarrassing. – Dude, what are
you talking about? Look at that girl next to you. Look how she’s leaning in, dude. – It’s really working for me. – [Jay] Damn, foil vest. – [Mark] That costume
is anti-Semitic. – What do you hate
about it so much? – Dude, I’m never
doing this again. I’m not into this. I look like horseshit and the music that you make
me play is horrible, too. – It’s not supposed
to be good music. That’s the point
of the fucking bit. – Yeah, man, crank that shit. – It doesn’t work, it’s done. – [Jay] What? – It doesn’t work. – It’s not working?
– What do you mean? It was just working. – It’s not working anymore. – Are you just saying
it’s not working so we don’t ask you to
play techno music anymore? – No, there’s something
else going through it. (scratchy techno music)
(bells jingling) – No. – Wait a second.
– What’s that noise? – [Shane] Ho ho ho,
dude, fuckin’ hoes. – [Jay] Whoa, what it this? – [Dan] What’s going on? – Is it–
– It’s– – Oh, it’s Shaneta Claus!
– Shaneta Claus! – Guys! From his workshop in
Delco, it’s Shaneta Claus! (crowd cheers)
(crowd applauds) It’s a “Bonfire”
Christmas miracle. Shaneta Claus “Bonfire” shirts. Throw ’em out. – I’m gonna throw some
“Bonfire” shirts out. Oh, take it right in the face. – Right in the face, get good. – All our T-shirt gun dreams. – What else do you need? Shaneta Claus, what
else is in your bag? – A Slim Jim!
– Slim Jims! – Yeah, yeah.
– Oh, I love Slim. Dude, someone’s gonna
get whipped in the face. – Someone’s definitely getting a plastic slice.
– Hands up, everyone. All right, yeah,
get those Slim Jims to the kids of America. Look at that Shaneta Claus. – Shaneta Claus. – Shaneta Claus, take a seat
on your throne, hold up. Here you go, Shaneta Claus. Get your Bud Light. – Ho ho ho, ah, ho ho. – [Jay] Dude, you look sick. – You’re red just like Santa. – It’s hotter than
hell in this thing. – What do you mean? That carpet suit we got you? – This fucking outfit sucks. – But Shaneta Claus. – That’s the best joot Nikes? – Shaneta Claus has
had a rough year, boys. (crowd applauds)
(crowd cheers) Had to bury Grandma
Claus earlier. – Oh, Jesus. – Earlier today, ho ho ho. – Ho ho.
– During the eulogy, it turns out I cared about
her more than I thought I did. Ho. Ho. – Emotional day
for Shaneta Claus. – This is great. This isn’t demeaning. – Shaneta Claus, could you
spread out some holiday cheer? What if we had–
– Probably not. – Could we have
some of the campers ask you for stuff for Christmas? Would that be all right? – Yeah. – What if we kept
giving you Bud Lights? – Yeah. – Let’s get some Bud Lights. – That’s Shaneta Claus’
cookies and milk. – You want some wings and beer? – Bud Lights wiggle. – Leave on open Skoal
by the front door ’cause that’s where
Shaneta Claus comes in. Reminder, the top lock will
be kicked off if you don’t. – Can Shaneta Claus have
wings with his white gloves? We figure we have some of the
campers come to the microphone and tell you what they
would like for Christmas and then we’ll– – If you start
knowing what you want, you can walk over here, and then Black Lou will give you the microphone.
– Come on over. – You’ll come over
here to ask questions, Shaneta Claus what you
want for Christmas. – Fucking jackpot. – Hey, Shaneta claus, hopefully she wants
a boyfriend, right? (bells ringing) – Oh get up here, it’s time. – We weren’t supposed to. All right.
– Yes, yes, yes. – Do I have to sit?
– You have to sit on me, lady. – No, you don’t. In fact, you can go
back down by Black Lou. – Oh, come on.
– We’re just avoiding litigation.
– You can for sure, but you don’t have to. If you would, this
guy’s gonna see chonch. – [Lou] It’s bad when the
black guy feels safer. – Then the next time
we’re all assembled is at a fucking major
lawsuit against Sirius. She goes, “They made
me get on the stage. “I like “SNL”, but
not that much.” What would you like from
Shaneta Claus, miss? – I have a very long list. I might take up the
rest of the show. Is that okay? – Man, no.
– It’s a long list. – If you’re not on my lap, I really don’t care
about what you want. That’s Shaneta Claus’
number one rule. Either get on the lap or
shut the fuck up, lady. Ho ho ho! – Whoa whoa whoa,
that’s Shaneta Claus, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
– Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Ho ho ho. – Whoa whoa whoa.
– Whoa whoa whoa. – Whoa whoa whoa.
– Whoa whoa whoa. – Whoa whoa whoa, my
bad, nevermind, go ahead. – Okay, does Santa
Claus have a budget? – Yes. – Turns out, yeah, it turns out. – It was almost a
very big budget. – [Brunette Woman]
Okay, good, good. – Now it’s low low low. Low low low. (crowd laughing) – [Lou] Lo mein. – Yeah, all right. More of that talk, he’s gonna
lose the next opportunity. – I really would love anything
from Van Cleef & Arpels or David Yurman or Tiffany’s. – Do you think I’m real Santa? (crowd laughing) Are you hot enough that
no one’s ever told you? – Only hot girls still
believe in Santa. – Wait, Santa’s here? – Literally, I met him in
Argentina with my boyfriend Bo and I was like,
babe, that’s Santa. – He tried to neg me
on stage, but whatevs. – I was like, ew,
you fucking hang out with reindeer all the time. – That’s right. – Those are retard horses. – You got the special now. You can drop the Rs now. – Yeah!
– Yeah! – I’m out.
– It’s too late. – I’m out the fucking cage. – It’s in the ether.
– Welcome back 2015 Danny Sodes. – It’s in the ether now. – Is that why you
were so hesitant? She probably got
tricked before by Santa. Sit on my lap, little girl. – [Jay] Not again. – Would you like to
come to Lavo with Santa? (crowd laughing) – Is that a no? I’ve just never had someone say no before.
– Santa’s got some drink tickets for upstairs
if you wanna hang. – Santa’s friends
with the promoter. – Santa knows the guy
who owns this place. There’s a sick loft upstairs
if you wanna check it out. – Santa trying to get pussy
might be my favorite new thing. – Dude, Santa would
have a sick loft. – He goes, “Oh, you’ve never–” – He can afford a
place with bedrooms, but he likes the loft. He likes the open layout. – Santa likes when people watch. It means he’s bringing joy to
little boys and little girls. – Ho ho ho, we’re
all adults here. – Mrs. Claus is cool with a lot. – [Mark] He slays the gash. – Come on, that’s why
he’s here, that’s why. Old exclamation point Normand. Miss, I do not believe he
has access to those things. – Want anything a little more– – I’ll get you anything
you want, I swear to god. – Now you say that? – I’ll fucking kill
myself for you. Is that what you want? Is that what you
want from me, bitch? – That was that. (crowd laughing) – Dude. – She left. – Our next camper.
– That’s gonna be an email. – I have cookies
for Shaneta Claus. – Yes, get up here. Give me those,
you fucking idiot. Yes, yes, I’m not
eating them on first. – Oh, come on.
– I’ll trust it. – No, I’m just kidding.
– They’re bonfire cookies. Bonfire Christmas.
– Yay! – I’ll see everyone later. – You guys ready to blast some off?
– Pass them around. – Take one and pass it. – Those are fucking great. – Wait, are they edibles before we pass them around?
– No, no edibles, sorry. – I go, “How much?” She goes, “Those are
actually 400 milligrams.” – They’re called the
Thanksgiving Day killers. They’re supposed to
take out a whole family. – That’s actually
for a family of 16 crossing through Central
America to the United States. – Not only does it
make you feel good, it takes away the
pain of snake bite. – So good. – They’re really fucking good. – Wow, you did a
really great job. – [Blonde Woman] Thank you. – Would you want anything
from Shaneta Claus? – Yes, someone from Boston,
I would like to ask, could you please
stop the Patriots from recording other teams? – Oh.
– Oh. – No we can’t, ’cause
they’re Boston scum fucks. – I think they’re pretty cool. – I just got done
there and you’re going. So I go, “Fuck that place. “Pieces of shit.”
– I’m there this weekend. Come to Worcester. Old sad Santa is
in Worcester, Mass. Oh ho, fuck.
– But he does know the owner of a
new Italian place. – Mommy, how do we
know he hits our town? He goes to Worcester. – He’ll be there. – How do we know Santa
comes to our house? He goes. – Shaneta Claus, you
have your instructions. Stop the Patriots. – All right. – [Jay] You wanna peg
her with a Slim Jim? – Hey, you want a Slim Jim? That’s a true thing
to ask someone. You go, “What do you
need, are you cool? “Do I have to give
you something?” – Hey, Shaneta Claus, Dan. – Yeah? – Can I have a cookie? – Yeah, dude. I’m sorry, Jay. – No Jews! (crowd laughing) – I feel like I
should honor that. Doesn’t seem right, does
feel a little Christmas-y. – We have dreidels
and bullshit for you. Got lights and
candles or whatever that sack of shit holiday is. Christmas, Christmas! – At the live show, Shane
Gillis then said fuck the Jews, Christmas, Christmas.
– Put on a Christmas jam, and called a girl a bitch
until she made out with him. – Do you think (beep),
do you think (beep) types with the Doogie
Howser music playing? ♪ Do do do do do do do ♪ – And today I learned I’m
a joyless sack of shit. ♪ Do do do do ♪ – Love, Doog. – ‘Ey, his Italian–
– Yo, Doogs. – His Italian friend
coming through the window. Not a good look
for Italian people. Doogie Howser, they just had
you crawling through windows like fucking squirrels. – Dan, I know you’re
not trying to be rude but I promise you, in
the darkness there, are two black waiting
the ask their questions. I know you’re not just
trying to make them stand there forever. I know this wasn’t
your intention and the jacket’s giving off a vibe.
– When I am Jay’s ears, sometimes he is my eyes. – Shaneta Claus, for Christmas
I would like nothing more than the respect
of my stepchildren and if you can’t do that,
a bigger nine-year-old than the nine-year-old
that I already have to give her the ass
whooping she deserves. – Yes. – That’s a good–
– Yes. – By, that’s a real–
– Yes. – You can do that?
– That’s a good wish. I can help you with that. I’ll give you some instructions. You gotta knock ’em
around a little. You got step kids give you lip? – [Tall Man] Yep. – Fuck them up. Fuck them up.
– How old are they? Boys or girls? – [Tall Man] Well, three, but
the only one I’m worried about is the nine-year-old,
the nine-year-old girl. – Do they still believe in me? – [Tall Man] Yes. – So I’ll come over.
– Yes. – I’ll fuck them up.
– Yes, yes. – Shane, why don’t
you just cut a promo on his phone right now? – I don’t wanna cut a
promo to a nine-year-old. – Shane–
– You know what, Santa’s got a lotta
problems right now. – Go at her like a reckless manchild.
– (drowned out by Jay) – You know how they
always say stories about the guy that
played Captain America shows up at a hospital
dressed up as Captain America? They’re like, “Shane Gillis
yelled at a nine-year-old, “dressed as Santa.” Top villain move.
– True. – [Mark] That is a
real porn, though. Santa fucks stepdaughter. – While her hand’s
stuck in a window. – Brazzers is like,
“We’ve been cookin’ on “that one since June.” – We’re looking for
keyword searches. We’re trying to dominate. – Hopefully he’ll
bring an ass whooping to your nine-year-old.
– Thanks. – You’re welcome.
– I respect his– – That’s was a good one. – I respect his thing, there. I say that often times, as a
person who doesn’t hit women, I often wish they would get
beat up by a random other woman. – What a good service to hire. Just women to beat
up other women. – I told Christina I
hope you go outside and get jumped by chicks. – It’s called lesbians. – [Jay] We gotta go to
those bars with some cash. – I got a bunch
of them, friends. – Walk in with a
wad of 20s, you go, “Who’s gonna fuck up my
friend’s girlfriend?” I’ll do the job. – I’ll do the job. – One other ques, oh, hey.
– We have another question. – Hey, hi guys.
– Hey, Merk Face Andy. – Merk Face Andy?
– Hey, hiya. Hey, Shaneta.
– Hey, why don’t you, Chill out, chill out.
– It’s all right, I got it. No, it’s cool, man. – Stay there, dude. – I can do it, it’s fine.
– Do what? – What’s up, Andy? – No, I was just, hey
guy, Dan, Jay, hi. – Hey, what’s up, bud?
– Hey, Merk Face. – You know, spirit
of the season. Just wondering if I could
get my job back, is all. (Mark groans) – [Andy] I can hold the mic. – I don’t know if that’s–
– I don’t know. That’s up to them.
– No, it’s cool. – He’s up, guys, let him. – I just wanna say
hi, that’s all. – Merk Face, this is br– – Yeah, Merk Face. Remember, Merk Face. – This is bringing
the energy down. – We’re just doing the show– – Don’t make it sad. – [Lou] Yank your
head out of your ass. – This was a more a
thing for the campers. – This wasn’t for you.
– I want to hug someone. – He wants a hug. Can he get a hug? – Dude.
– You know what? – [Mark] Get a haircut. – I mean. – Don’t listen to him,
it’s your best quality. – Thanks.
– You’re looking rough. I hope things are going
okay, though, huh? – Merry Christmas, right? – Fuck you guys. – Black Lou, Black Lou,
if you would, please. If you could pitch it.
– No, Blake, I can do it, man. Yo, hey, not yet, easy. (crowd laughing) Fuck you guys, anyway, man.
– I don’t wanna have to fuck you up.
– Fucking squirt squirt, Nikki Glaser forever. (crowd oohs) – [Mark] Oh shit! – [Andy] She’s got
better live reads! (crowd oohs) – Definitely more.
– Fuck him. – Definitely more. – Wow, burned a bridge right
there with the live read line. I’ll let the first one go
in the spirit of Christmas. That second one stung. – No, I’m a big
fan of that show. (crowd laughing) – Any other campers with
some holiday requests? – If Santa doesn’t listen to
your radio show or podcast, he doesn’t like it, ’cause he has to deliver
around the entire world. – That’s a lotta hours. – Lotta Alex Jones, lotta
“Info Wars” up there in the sleigh.
– Santa, if you’re listening to me, I’m telling you
Santa Claus is an actor. – Reptile wars coming
through, pleasing. – [Black Lou] I have a question. – Oh, Black Lou. – How come every time I
see a Christmas movie, there’s no black elves? – [Mark] They don’t work! – All right, you’re gonna
be bummed out by the answer, but Santa Claus has a coal mine. – (laughs) Is that it? – Dot dot dot. – [Black Lou] All right,
one more question. – Black Lou, you got a
question for Shaneta Claus? – Yes, Shaneta Claus,
can you please help the Dallas Cowboys
win the Superbowl? (crowd boos) Please, it’s been 20 years! – No, dude. Kylah.
– Go birds. – No. – He gets to play with Beezer
and Kilah and all that? – Kilah, tell him. – I will flip this
table right now. Get the fuck outta here. – Yes, no, the Cowboys suck. – What’s that? – Cowboys do suck.
– The Cowboy do fucking suck. They deserve nothing. Everything else is good.
– The Eagles suck this year, – So bad.
but they don’t have any why out. You guys have your full
team and you stink, dude. You guys need to bring
back fucking hookers and coke and crack
and get a title again. Actually, those–
– Definitely fur coats. – Those Cowboys
ruled, to be honest. – In hindsight, 20–
– In hindsight, Michael Irvin flying
around with coke and hookers, that’s pretty sick. – Just playing football
with a helmet on on top of million dollar
diamond studs is just, – Pretty badass.
– It deserves something. – Well, Black Lou, thanks and– – I hope their plane
crashes, for the record. Dallas Cowboys.
– Just hurtful, Jay. – That is pretty hurtful.
– No, they all live, but just sustain pretty rough injuries.
– Get dinged up a little. – Badly burned. – Disfigured, for sure. – Shaneta Claus,
thank you for coming – This was great.
– from your workshop (crowd applauds) in Delaware.
– Shaneta Claus, everybody. – [Jacob] Shaneta Claus? – Oh, wait.
– What was that? – [Jacob] Shaneta Claus? – Did you wake up little Jacob? – Did little? – Oh no. Is little Jacob awake? – I can’t see him. – He must’ve heard your sled. – [Jacob] Shaneta
Claus, is that you? – Where’s Jacob?
– Little Jacob. – Where’s he at? – I think I see him over there. – Jacob, what are
you doing awake? – That’s not him at all.
– We left the Skoal out for Shaneta Claus.
– There he is. – Shaneta! Shaneta, it is you! – It’s little Jacob.
– Little Jacob, get up here. Are you all sleepy, buddy? – Shaneta Claus! – Hey champ, get up here. – Come on, buddy. Come on. – Hey bud.
– Got your jam jams on. Why don’t you sit in
Shaneta Claus’ lap? Are you scared, buddy? – You don’t have to be scared. Shaneta Claus is here.
– It’s Shaneta Claus. – [Mark] I’ve
never been so hard. – There you go.
– Oh, good. – [Dan] Shaneta Claus. Jacob, do you wanna ask
Shaneta Claus for something? – I love you, Shaneta Claus. – All right. All right. (laughs) – Shaneta, did you come all
the way from the North Pole? – I gotta be honest. I thought I was gonna be
able to handle this bit. (crowd laughing) But how old are you, dude? Goddamn. – Where’s Mrs. Claus, Shaneta? – Mrs. Claus is a dumb
bitch who moved to Vermont. (crowd laughing) – Shaneta, did you
bring me presents all the way from the North Pole? – No. – I was good, I swear I
was good, Shaneta Claus. (crowd laughing) – Yeah, how you feelin’, dude? – I’m happier here, Shaneta. – Little Jacob, why don’t
you tell Shaneta Claus some of the things,
(laughs) tell him some of the things you’d like.
– It’s really him, Jay. – It is him.
– It’s really him, Jay. – We told you we were
friends with Shaneta Claus. – He’s been watching
you all year. – Stop pretending
to be a little kid. It’s fucking gross. I thought I could take it. You’re a good actor and
you’re bothering me. (crowd laughing) – [Mark] This really brings
home the CNN article. (crowd applauds) – Come the fuck on.
– Goddamn it. – Wow! – This should’ve been the
picture in the middle. – That’s true. – Is cancel culture
getting it right finally? – I’m the first guy to get
canceled and then fuck kids. – Why not, dude?
– No one ever does the, “Well, they already said I
fuck kids, might as well.” – Give me an inch, I mi–
– Might as well fuck kids. – Give me an inch, I’m
gonna take a nine-year-old. – Shaneta, do you like my teddy? – All right, we’re
doing other stuff now. – No, no. No, Shaneta, little
Jacob woke up for this. – Where’d you get this? Where’d you get it? I’m not doing the bit anymore. Where did you, a
grown man, go out and buy this fucking dumb
outfit and teddy bear? – Shaneta Claus!
– Come on. This is little Jacob.
– Shaneta! It’s Christmas time! – It’s not little Jacob. This is Jake. This is Jake. – What, you’ve never
talked, a child’s never plead to you for presents?
– I love you, Shaneta. – Come on, the
innocence of a child can’t melt your cold heart? – The innocence of a child in
a soft salt and pepper beard? – Also, some soft ass PJs. – Those are definitely
going home with him. – PJs are nice. – Are you wondering if
there’s a flap in the ass? There is.
– There is. – There is. – There is a flap?
– Yeah, dude. It’s Velcro, too.
– Do you wanna see it, Shaneta Claus?
– What’s so great about it? – We knew Shaneta
would get there. – Oh, there’s a
camera, no, no no no. – [Jay] Get in there. – Negative press. – Is it okay for Shaneta
to touch my like that? – No.
– No, no. – No. – Does it make you feel
comfortable, little Jacob? – If it makes Shaneta happy. – Shaneta Claus, little Jacob
will do anything for you. – And we do mean anything. We found him at a bus stop.
– Anything. Aww. – Aww, Shaneta Claus – That’s good.
– and little Jacob, everyone. We’re gonna take our last break. – Pretty much our last break.
– We’ll be right back. It’s the holiday show from the Village Underground!
– It’s the holiday! Jacob, little Jacob!
– Banzai! (cheery music) – Thank you, everybody. We are back for “The Bonfire”
Christmas spectacular. – Are we good to go? – Are we, Jacob little? – [Jacob] We are. – We are ’cause have we
ever presented something that we weren’t involved
in quite as much? – Not really. This is really one of
the first major things. Yeah, it’s actually the
first time we’ve done this. – This is pretty
exciting for us. The internet’s been
abuzz at the guess at what’s happening here, but this is so exciting for
us to present this to you. We know, big topic on
this show, of course, Feld Dogg, Corey Feldman. (crowd cheers) We got at him a little hard. – All jokes aside, shout out
Feld Dogg and the angels. – We give him a hard time.
– For really going through it. – [Man On Recording]
That’s just what guys do. – He might take it so
hard right now, man. – [Man On Recording]
Feel my dick, dude. It’s rock hard right now. – Come on, man. – But–
– Come on, man. – There was a time when he was
in movies that we all love. We all appreciate Corey
Feldman at some point. You have to.
(crowd cheers) And one of the
pinnacles of that. And look, he even had
to beat up three kids in a bathroom for
making fun of him for being in this film and still bravely he stood and went through with making it, which gave us a
scene in the movie with one of the
most iconic songs, I’d say in film history. And here to perform
that song right now. Make some noise, everybody,
and I mean lose your shit. You learned to dance for this. Tim Cappello, everybody. Make some noise
for Tim Cappello. (crowd cheers)
(crowd applauds) (trippy music) (upbeat funky music) ♪ I been in a cave
for forty days ♪ ♪ Only a spark to light my way ♪ ♪ I wanna give out ♪ ♪ I wanna give in ♪ ♪ This is our crime ♪ ♪ This is our sin ♪ ♪ Come on, but I still believe ♪ ♪ I still believe ♪ ♪ Through the pain ♪ ♪ And through the grief ♪ ♪ Through the lies ♪ ♪ And through the storms ♪ ♪ Through the cries ♪ ♪ And through the
wars, come on ♪ ♪ Oh, I still believe ♪ ♪ I still believe ♪ ♪ Flat on my back ♪ ♪ Out at sea ♪ ♪ Hoping these waves ♪ ♪ Don’t cover me ♪ ♪ I’m turned and
tossed upon the waves ♪ ♪ When the darkness comes ♪ ♪ I feel the grave, come on ♪ ♪ But I still believe ♪ ♪ I still believe ♪ ♪ Through the cold ♪ ♪ And through the heat ♪ ♪ Through the rain ♪ ♪ And through the tears ♪ ♪ Through the crowds ♪ ♪ And through the cheers ♪ ♪ Oh, I still believe ♪ ♪ I still believe ♪ ♪ I still believe ♪ ♪ I’ll march this road ♪ ♪ I’ll climb this hill ♪ ♪ Upon my knees if I have to ♪ ♪ I’ll take my place
upon this stage ♪ ♪ I’ll wait till
the end of time ♪ ♪ For you like everybody else ♪ ♪ Oh yeah, like everybody else ♪ – [Jay] Oh, make
some fucking noise! (upbeat funky music) Don’t hurt him! (upbeat funky music) (crowd cheers) – [Mark] Yeah, hell yeah! ♪ Out on my own ♪ ♪ Walkin’ the
streets, I like it ♪ ♪ Look at the faces ♪ ♪ That I meet ♪ ♪ I feel like I ♪ ♪ Like I wanna go home ♪ ♪ What do I feel ♪ ♪ Say what do I know, come on ♪ ♪ But I still believe ♪ ♪ Yes, I still believe ♪ ♪ Through the shame ♪ ♪ And through the grief ♪ ♪ Through the heartache ♪ ♪ Through the tears ♪ ♪ Through the waiting ♪ ♪ And through the years ♪ ♪ For people like us
in places like this ♪ ♪ We need all the
hope we can get ♪ ♪ Oh, I still believe ♪ ♪ I still believe ♪ (upbeat funky music) (crowd cheers) (upbeat funky music) ♪ Oh, I still believe ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ (crowd cheers)
– Whoa, whoa! Whoa! – Tim Cappello, everybody!
– Holy hell! – Make some noise! – [Mark] Wow, wow. Holy hell.
– Amazing. – Come on.
– Amazing. – One more time.
– Wow. – Tim Cappello, everyone. Wow.
– Wow. – What a holiday surprise. – Amazing, that was amazing.
– Thank you, brother. – Holy hell.
– Thank you. – Thank you so much
for being here, Tim. Tim, being “The Lost
Boys”, half the experience of what this just was right
now, I assume, correct? (crowd laughing) – It goes “Lost Boys”,
us, Tina Turner. – I’ll buy that. – Yeah!
– Sure, why not? – That was unbelievable. I was hoping we were
gonna get more of the, as we talked on the phone, we told you we know
the Star dance. We know the windmill.
– The Jami Gertz dance. – I can’t believe you
guys know the Star dance! – Come on. – I tell you what.
– I’ll do it. – If I do get a chance
to play my whole set where I’ve got all the
Star dance programmed and all the stuff,
we could have a ball. – Oh yeah.
– But just so you know, to feel honor Tim, I
want you to know this. There’s not a person
in this audience that doesn’t know
windmill, clap thrust, windmill, hand comb. – You told me that on the phone. – Yes I did. – We wouldn’t lie to you.
– And I just fell right out of bed. – Our fans are loyal and
they know a good dance move. – Tim, you toured many years
– I can’t wait. – with Tina Turner, correct? My question for you would be–
– Fifteen years. – Fifteen years?
(crowd cheers) Would you say she
was simply the best? (crowd laughing) Better than all the rest? You know, it’s funny, I
watched the Tina Turner movie, “What’s Love Got To Do With It”, recently it was on cable and we smoke pot
and sit on a couch. It came on, I like to show
my girlfriend once in a while what life could be for
if you get willful. – Dude, if Christine started
quoting that movie accurately, that would be the funny. I know the damn radio
show, Jay, I wrote it. ♪ What’s love got
to do, got to do ♪ – And then I remember hearing
you say in an interview that you work with Tina Turner. At the end of the
movie it just splashes to a live version of the song and there you are right there. Keyboards, I believe, correct? – I can’t remember, man. – [Jay] Plays it all, dude. – [Dan] You did Turner with Ti– – Nobody ever watches their
own shit, you know that. – Dan does, he combs through it. – And I go like this. Stop, reverse it, look at that. – Look at that, he goes, “I
need some more light from.” – Zoom in.
– There it is. – Zoom, bring it over. I “Minority Report” it. – Oh, man. Tim, is there anything
that you’d like to plug or tell us where you’re gonna be or tell us what’s going
on with you, buddy? – Well, I just got off the
road for the first time in, well, I’m 64, and this summer I did my first
tour one man show, and I took it all
around the country and it was so much
fun that I’m gonna go down to the south
while it’s cold so if anybody has any relatives or anything like that
down in the Carolinas, down in Florida, Georgia,
that’s where I’m gonna be February, March, something like that.
– You’re doing an old Jewish person’s
touring schedule. (Tim laughs) – In between those stops
I’ll be calling my daughter, wondering why she isn’t married. – I’m gonna be
rockin’ ass in Boca. I’m gonna be hammering it home. – In a good Hilton Head addict. – Dan.
– I’ll tell you what, you guys got that right ’cause my wife and I
are moving to Tampa. – Hell yeah!
– Yeah! – In June. – High-five Hulk Hogan for us. Jacob, you got a
question for Tim? – Yes, Tim, for 64
your are jacked, man. What kinda workout program?
– Thank you! That’s so sweet of you. You’re a wonderful
liar, I appreciate it. – No, look at that–
– It gets harder every year. – What’s your secret? Diet, exercise? – Anabolic steroids. – You know what? D balls.
– D balls. – I am, this is gonna be bad. – Let it rip.
– This is not a good advertisement.
– We had Shane Gillis up here as Santa Claus earlier. (crowd laughing) – We’re already canceled. – Pile on, dude. – Lots of creatine. Everybody who lifts
weights knows about that. – Intracellular vibration.
– I hate to say this, but I have to ’cause it’s true. I’m a vegan. (crowd cheers) – I was actually hoping
you were gonna say you were on some
Barry Bonds 02 shit. He’d be like, “I can
jack 50 right now “in the national league.”
– Hey listen, I’m no fool. I was backstage two minutes
before we were going doing push ups,
trying to pump up a little bit.
– Those ripples on your shoulder tell
me you’re not lying. – I couldn’t imagine
living in a world where just a little
bit of pushups before I do something make
me look jacked and different. (crowd laughing) I just did sit-ups. They’re like, “Last year?” – Can I just say something? I wanted to get it off my chest about “What’s Love
Got To Do With It”. – All right.
– And the soundtrack ’cause I was really
involved in that. When you look at that,
you will see that it says Ike Turner singing
Lawrence Fishburne. No. It was Timbo. I did all the Ike parts. Never hit anybody. (crowd cheers) – What a “Bonfire” exclusive. – And I said to Tina’s manager, “You can’t have a white
guy singing Ike’s parts.” She says, “They sound
fine, we’ll leave them.” So then I found out all
they did was just say Lawrence Fishburne sang them. – [Dan] There you go. The real voice
– So I’m pissed. – You should be pissed.
– of the “What’s Love Got To Do With It” soundtrack. – Yes!
(crowd cheers) – I’ll tell you what, Tim.
– Tim does him. – Fuck those people because
you sing like Ike Turner and you’ve never hit a woman. You’re a Jersey hero, dude.
– No woman. – Jersey hero! Tim Cappello, everybody! Thank you so much.
(crowd cheers) (crowd applauds) – We’re gonna take
our last break. We’re gonna be right
back real quick. So bond.
– We’re gonna come back and say goodbye. It’s “The Bonfire”
Holiday Extravaganza! – Christmas spectacular. We’ll be right back. (bells jingling)
(crowd cheering) It’s been what a great show. – An amazing show, everybody. We wanna thank special
musical guest Tim Cappello. Mark Normand. – Shane Gillis.
– Shane Gillis. Beezer, Kilah, the
Beast Master’s here. We love you guys so much. We’ll see you next
year, everybody. – We’ll see ya next year. (crowd cheers)
(crowd applauds) (smooth jazz) See ya. I guess this is how
“SNL” would’ve felt. But it’s us. It’s all right. Night, everybody. Good night, everyone. See ya. All right! (smooth jazz) (bells jingling) – Hey, hi.
– Staring. – People come out and look good. – It looks like we’re
filming it like you and me are gonna fight
in a circle, eventually. Guys, give us a wide berth. – I’m gonna go.
– On our way. ♪ Goin’ on our way ♪ – Oh, what do you guys know
about the Brazilian dance fight – Capoeira.
– Capoeira? (upbeat rock music) (bells jingling) – Sorry about having Shane. We needed a Santa Claus. – You can hit him if you want. – That was fun.
– You can hit him. – He’s accepting Asian hits.
– Give him hell. – Wait, who am I hitting? – Shane Gillis.
– He’s right there. All right, let me hit him. – Shane! Come meet your destiny, dude. – You guys sure? – Come meet your destiny.
– We’ll blur you. – Are you sure? – What is this?
– We’re gonna blur you out, bud. – This is a big photo-op
for you right now. – Hey guys.
– We’re gonna muffle your voice. – Here, bring it in
for a family shot. – [Woman In Glasses]
Can I go in? – Yeah, of course,
we need you in here. – Yes. You’re mending wounds. – This was not my idea.
– Is there an actual camera? – This was not my idea. How are you? Jay thinks that’s funny. – I just wanna say thank
god none of the stuff downstairs was recorded. – It’s happening,
it’s happening. – Please take me back, for
the love of fucking god. You saw that. – Don’t do that.
– You fucking saw that. Bring me back.
– America, let me back. – Please, goddamn it,
dude, I’m dying out here. – Goddamn, you’re so fucked.
– You saw that. You saw what he did.
– (speaks softly) – It’s her. – How great was the intro?
– Uh-oh. – It’s bae.
– Come on, get in here. Get in here.
– Yeah! – There you go, baby.
– Get in here. – Get in here, Shane.
– SHe’s really avoiding the hell out of me. (crowd laughing) – [Photographer] Three, two! Okay, thank you.
– All right. – Was the flash on?
– Yeah, I think it was. – I didn’t see a flash. – We’re under lights. – Can we do one more? Can we do one more? – Here, you guys get in.
– No? – Do we need flash?
– One more. He has it. – [Photographer] Go, three, two! Got it.
– Thank you. – You were great, dude.
– Thank you. – You were great. – That was genuinely
uncomfortable. – That was great. – You stayed in character.
– I do. – Too hard.
– It was great. – No, you didn’t
– You commit like a mother. – You didn’t stay too hard. You did exactly that best
thing you could’ve done. You were fantastic. – Ugly.
– Pageantry. Pageantry out there. – This is theater. – You can’t act like
that in dress shoes. – That guy?
– Get some Fossils. – Loafers on?
– In dress shoes? – Who doesn’t? – No.
– Already break. – You’re gonna slip
if you throw a punch. – He had no idea Mefi was here. – He goes, “Bro!” No, shut up.
– You see his tan shoes, dude?
– No, shut up and kiss me.
– He had no idea Mefi was here.
– I’m gonna start kissing “Billions” fans. – I need to ask
you guys on camera. The DJ Dead Rat helmet,
I can toss it out? – Yes, you can throw it away. – Yeah. – It’s done it’s job, right? – It’s done it’s job. – It’s done it’s job.
– You know what a hassle it is to take that on the subway? – Yeah, I bet it’s a thing. But the payoff is always grand. – Oh, hi, didn’t see
you come in there. I’m Dan Soder. – I’m Big Jay Oakerson. – We’re from “The Bonfire”
on Comedy Central Radio Sirius XM 95. – Make sure you watch
our videos every Thursday on Comedy Central YouTube. – Fresh, exclusive, visual. – Titillating.