‘Divines smile on you, friend!’ ‘Don’t…’ ‘Don’t do that!’ ‘I’ll have you know that there’s no
pizza… ARGH!’ Skyrim is a beautiful game. Exactly 7 years ago to this day, I loaded
it for the first time, and explored the lands with the greatest character I’ve ever made:
Odgrub the Basher. I loved that man. *FUS-RO-DAH!* He and I, we have so many good memories together. With him, I beat the guilds. He beat the guards.
He beat innocent people. And it was with him that I mastered something that makes the game
ridiculously easy. *Innocents screaming* Last month I talked about games with scaling
levels, mentioning Skyrim in particular. The enemies in this game will try to match your
level so that the game forever remains a challenge. But there’s something that I discovered
with Odgrub that made him more powerful than the game could have prepared for! It’s all too easy to focus on the cool stuff,
like levelling up your armour and mastering the blade. So much so, in fact, that you may
fail to dabble with stuff like smithing. Or enchanting. Or alchemy. After all, who wants to crush plants when
you could instead be doing THIS?!? *Angelic singing* ‘HELP! SOME ONE!!!’ Okay, focus, Odgrub. For these 3 skills hold a secret. A terrible
secret. A terribly BRILLIANT secret. For master these 3 and they will make you
a GOD. I’m going to show you how Odgrub did it,
back in 2011. I mean, don’t ask me how he thought it up. It’s not like he’s the smartest soul in
Skyrim. *FUS-RO-DAH!* Meet my new character. Imaginatively known
as Odgrub the Second. He has just spent countless hours grinding smithing, alchemy and enchanting. They’re all (finally) maxed out at level
100. First, I needed a full set of armour. Did
you know that with a high enough smithing skill, you can make any set of armour the
maximum armour value? This means that even boring old hide armour can get just as good
as LEGENDARY HEAVY DRAGON PLATE ARMOUR! But hide doesn’t look very bling. So I first set about getting a full set of
HEAVY DRAGON ARMOUR! Just like Odgrub had, all those years ago.
For this I needed dragon parts. This should have been easy, since Skyrim is littered with
dragons- …until you need them, it seems. I couldn’t believe it! I had been drowning in dragons when I didn’t need them. I had
grown tired of having to eat so much dragon soup! These oversized cliff-racers had single-handedly
caused global warming! They were EVERYWHERE! Until I needed them. Now they seemed as dead
as the dinosaur. Stupid game, at this rate I’ll never- -And then I found them. ALL of them. Everywhere. And some epic fights later, I had enough dragon
stuff to make some cool stuff out of. And Lydia was more than happy to carry it all back to
town for me. ‘I am sworn to carry your burdens’ Now, I know this video’s already shown a
bit of killing and that you guys must be getting bored with all that mindless violence by now.
But it’s important to see how good Odgrub the Second is BEFORE he exploits the game.
That way, when we show it at the end then you’ll see how much of a difference all
this exploiting makes. You know… for science. Even in plain old orc-armour and weapons,
he’s already pretty good, taking on all the city’s guards at once and holding his
own against them. But something about this… lacks the oomph
a legendary hero should have. He has to resort to cheap tricks, wheras I
want people to be see him in combat and to be literally blown away! …and figuratively. Time to make that bling set of armour. He got his dragon parts back from Lydia… ‘I am sworn to carry your burdens’ *FUS-RO-DAH!* Then, using these, Odgrub crafted himself
a full set of Dragon-plate armour. And it made him look absolutely fabulous. And then he set out to make it even better. How? I’m glad you asked… You see, with 100 smithing you can improve
this armour, but you can get even better at smithing if you first enchant clothing with
fortify smithing magic. But you can also enchant clothing to make you better at alchemy and
then you wear those as you use alchemy to make even better potions to improve your smithing
even further. You then equip the clothing and drink these potions and then smith items
up to a GODLY level! Of course this is simplifying things a bit
since you can also make potions to make you better at enchanting, then use those to enchant
clothing that makes you better at alchemy, creating an infinite loop IMPROVING YOUR ABILITIES
TO OBLIVION AND BEYOND, thus ending back in Skyrim again. And that’s exactly what Odgrub did! He then
headed over to his smithing station, donned his clothes of improved smithing, downed his
potion of improved smithing, and quickly worked on improving as many items of armour as he
could before the potion wore off. He even had time to do it with his weapons
as well. Doing all this upped his armour rating to
a stonking great 963, which is well beyond Skyrim’s maximum armour level.
And his weapons now also dealt triple the amount of damage that they would have previously.
As you can imagine, Odgrub the Second is now truly formidable. His stats, unrivalled. But
not so fast! Before we test out how great he is, there’s one more step that- This may be a good time to explain why Odgrub
the Basher- despite his name- chooses to wield a one-handed sword, as opposed to, say, an
axe, or a massive great Warhammer. It’s simple, really. When it comes to beating people off, size
isn’t everything. People make the mistake of grabbing the shaft of the largest weapon
they can find, thinking that using 2 hands is better than 1. But they’re mistaken!
I have found that, with enough practice and technique, grasping your sword with just one
hand can yield better results. Especially if you can still finish the enemy in one thrust!
Keeping one hand free, you remain nimble, dodging enemy blows and opening up cracks
in their defence, catching them with their pants down and letting you slide your sword
right in where they least expect it. They never see it coming. Now to enchant Odgrub’s weapons and armour.
Each item can improve Odgrub in one way, be it more health, strength or so on. This alone
is useful! …but if you unlock THIS skill, each item can improve Odgrub in TWO ways!
Use this on all of his armour and weapons and he will become an unstoppable killing
machine. And that’s exactly what he did, all under
the influence of his potent ‘improve enchanting’ potions. Choosing enchantments isn’t an
exact science. He chose to prioritise attack strength, followed by making him stronger
or more resistant to shock spells. Odgrub’s had one too many bad experiences with conjurers. This enchanting stage alone must have doubled
or tripled Odgrub’s power. As for enchanting his weapons… Odgrub was
spoilt for choice! He could choose to absorb his enemies’ health. Or set them on fire!
Or paralyse them! Or make them fear him and run away! Or to paralyse them AND make them
fear him and try to run away! Or he could steal their soul.
There was something Odgrub liked about it absorbing just one point of health. Like the
ultimate humiliation just before their doom. Plus this enchantment gave the weapon a really
pretty red glow. But ultimately, 1 point of damage was a waste of an enchantment.
He also toyed with paralysing them AND making them fear him at the same time. It didn’t
always work, but when it did they’d hilariously flop to the ground, screaming. It also seemed
to break the unkillable characters, who would either remain on the floor or who would stand
there with a silly look on their face for the duration of the effect. ‘You’re not as dumb as- HNEUGH!!!’ But sadly, these 2 effects combined drained the enchantment too quickly, so to improve
his weapons’ battery-life he settled for just 1 second of paralysing. Doesn’t always kick in, but when it does
it really puts the laughter into slaughter. ‘I can still put up a fight!!!’ With armour and weapons fully pimped out and
this video quickly approaching the 9-minute mark, you might be tempted to click off right
now. I hear 3kliksphilip’s just posted something really dank on Twitter. Probably. But if you were to check this out then you’d
miss Odgrub making some really pretty jewellery! Which can also be enchanted for extra hax.
Any old jewellery would work perfectly well, but as you’ve probably guessed, for Odgrub,
any old jewellery isn’t bling enough. He wants the best: and that’s gold with
diamonds! And so began perhaps the longest and most pointless leg of his journey thus
far. Odgrub set off on his adventure. The journey
there would be long and treacherous. He braved moor and mountain, field and frost
troll and traversed the most dangerous mountain passes that Skyrim had to offer. For there’s only one place that he could
get such precious jewellery. Only one that could live up to Odgrub’s demands. …And that’s Radiant Raiment, the finest
clothes shop in all of Skyrim! It also sells pretty and rare pieces of jewellery. A regular
favourite for Odgrub, even if the owners aren’t the friendliest. If anywhere was to sell gold
with diamonds stuck to it, it would be here. Problem was, their shop had broken in some
way and remained locked, when it should have been open. This normally happens when the
owner gets lost and dies in some horrible way… but Odgrub swears he had nothing to
do with it! So he did what any respectable person would
have done and broke in. The owner was in there, alive and well- but Odgrub was told to leave. ‘YOUR NOT SIPPOSED TO BE IN HEAR’ ‘IM NOT GOIN 2 WARN U AGAIN OUTLANDER’ Not wanting to squander his chance to get
the finest jewellery, he did as he was told. He tried waiting a while to see if that would
fix the game… ‘UR NOT SUPPOSED 2 BE IN HEAR’ …but the shop remained off-limits and a
random guy was now in charge of it for some reason. ‘GO AWAY N LEAF US ALONE OUTLANDER’ So Odgrub was all like ‘screw it’, and
went down the local for a pint. Incredibly, this worked and when he returned,
the clothes shop was open for business again! But they didn’t have what Odgrub was looking
for. Time for plan B. He ran to the other end of Skyrim on his most
boring journey yet. He was attacked by bandits, orcs, thieves, wolves, bears, trolls, giants
and a dragon along the way. He could have just fast-travelled. But he
was part of the hate-crowd back in the day and still stubbornly refuses to use it, even
though secretly he’s beginning to see the benefits. FINALLY, and 22 GB of 4K footage later, he arrived at Riften: the city of thieves. ‘I FIND UR HAND IN MY POCKET ILL OWN U SO
BAD NOOB’ What he needed was locked away in a house
that you’re not supposed to be able to access until later in the game.
But fortunately, 7 years on and a thousand releases later, Skyrim is still a buggy mess
and Odgrub was able to glitch his way in. He and Lydia proved to be a good team. Odgrub
would bash them and Lydia would set them on fire… or simply bash them herself.
Odgrub found the hidden passages and triggered the traps, and Lydia… carried his burdens.
Eventually he reached the room with the diamond in. Odgrub got what he wanted. Now onto one of the only goldmines in Skyrim! Even the formidable Briarheart, equipped with
shock spells (His previous weakness), failed to hurt Odgrub in the slightest. He tore through
the bandit like a butter through knife hot and collected as much gold as he could eat. Armed with gold AND diamonds, he returned
to civilisation to craft himself some jewellery. Although once he got there he realised that
Lydia had been wearing the bling jewellery that he wanted all along. God knows how long
she’s had that stuff for. *FUS-RO-DAH!* Finally, Odgrub enchanted them. His necklace
of doom and ring of power were made and once equipped, Odgrub the Second was finally complete. And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting
for: Odgrub the Second, at full power and in his final form. He and Lydia tore up the castle at Windhelm. His bow was perfect in the villages around
Solitude. He moved onto Solitude Castle where the stairs
complemented his sword of paralysing nicely. It wasn’t a good day for Skyrim. Onto whiterun next. And his bow proved itself
again on the steps leading to the castle. Those who were invincible soon wished they
weren’t. But this was all a bit easy. So he moved onto dragons. Killing regular ones in 3 arrows… …and ancient epic noscope 360 ones in 3
blows of his sword. He went to take on the greybeards. Although it’s not possible to KILL them… …I think it’s safe to say that Odgrub won. In fact, nothing was a challenge any more! Odgrub the Second had made the game too easy. The illusion of Skyrim had been ruined. And on that disappointment…