[*Wapish!*] Top of the mornin’ to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye! And welcome to a game called House Party. Which I am hoping is as ridiculous as it looked in the screenshots that I saw. It looks like a game where you go to a house party and you just chat to people and see what happens I don’t know the end goal. I don’t know anything at all. Judging by the picture here of fuckin’- Miranda- uhh, I think I know what the end goal might be but I’m not gonna make any assumptions. Never judge a book by it’s cover. Judge a book by its moral and political values. That’s how you really know that a- *sighs*I don’t fuckin’ know. Okay, “which story would you like to play?” Original story? Um, okay. Well, original story or original story? I don’t know man, I think I’m gonna have to go with original story on this one. I’m not too sure. Start new game. Here we go. SURPRISE me. *subtle music plays* Very good music.That’s how I know the porn is about to start. It said “Talk to Madison” *murmurs* Oh I can actually move around. Ohhh, Hii. *laughs* She’s doin’ the one tap shuffle. Watch her foot. There we go. *laughs* It’s the one tap shuffle. You just have to put one foot on the ground every now and then and that’s how you know she’s doin’ the dance properly. Don’t fall back. You’ll land in that fire and that fuckin’ dress is gonna go up like tissue pabar. Repeats: Tissue pabar. *smirks* TISSUE PAPER! I DUNNO Jesus Christ! That’s a mighty set of personalities you got… 😉 Umm, I don’t know what I’m- okay. WHICH ONE IS MADISON? Ohhh! Thank god. STEVE You’re here. Oh but you’ve been drinkin’ all the Jack Daniels and eatin’ all my pizza! Then, what’s left for me? HEEEEYYY! You’re the lady from the front of the book. *laughs* THE GAME! I compared it to a book What is happening? Inspect! “Katherine is part of the cool clique, and she’s smart, and she has a boyfriend. Should I even waste my time?” Katherine is cool. And she’s smart. And she’s funny. And she has a boyfriend. And I’m sad. And I’m going over here. Okay. Music. Can I actually change this? Nope. “Not-Lonely.com” Is that the website that the developer of this game created? I hope so. Cuz, it would match perfectly. OKAY! Let’s go talk to some other people You there, Curly McGee. That’s Madison This is her party. I probably shouldn’t be a dick to her if I want to stay. That’s a good- That’s a good train of thought. Don’t be a dick to people if you want to stay at their parties Talk Hey Madison 🙂 Uhh, “no but I’d like to get to know you a little better. I’ll check you later, Mads.” Oh! “Umm, do I know you?” Ummm, no! I’m Jerry… St- Steve’s friend? You know the drunk bald guy over there that looks like he just came outta prison? Yeah that guy Uhhh okay.. *scoffs* Just like “Do I know you?” *laughs* “Check ya later Mads” 😉 *Awkward laugh* Okay No, but I would like to get to know you a little better Jesus Christ, you gotta fucking shark mouth Aw, that’s sweet. I’m Madison. This is my party. *Sorta figured* Nice to meet you Apparently you’re fucking possessed by a demon as well What.. what’s this dance you got going on? You need to learn from fucking Cindy over here with the one-tap shuffle. It seems like rigor mortis’ set in a bit quick. Same here *Very cringy* Nailed it. CINDY! NO! It’s the ONE-tap shuffle You suppose to keep one toe on the ground you keep this up you’re gonna end up outside Hi??? Hi… Jesus Christ, again very bouncy personality you got I don’t know if I should talk to you, you’re very intimidating! You just smile on your face and boogying down like like theres no tomorrow. Jesus Christ now you’re angry! I’m sorry! See I’m really into dancing if you make fun of it I’ll fucking kill you! Yes, ok this is actually some impressive animations going on. Inspect! Stephanie is a spaz but she’s kinda cute… look at her go Oh, I’m looking It’s about all I can fucking look at. “Hi I’m Stephanie like whats totally uP SELMERS!!” Nice to meet you Stephanie. “Nice to meet you too. Oh my god i love this song so muuuch” …carry on *laughs* oh my god, who are you?? you look like the life of the party- okay that fucking facial expression changed. you look like a predator on the- HOW THE FUCK did you teleport in there. What was your name again? Catherine? jeez everybody looks so angry in this game… why…. who hurt you dudes…. *murmering* fucking demon… demon in the hallway. Can I turn down the temperature? Inspect!- Tamper *silence* What am I tampering with? nothing changed look at this control looks like this controls the temperature throughout the house I better cool it down because I am too hot! You guys got any fucking food oh just what I fucking want a big old sausage 😉 hmm an interesting phallic objects on closer inspection it seems like you can put it in your mouth oh wait it’s salami right oh my god I mean I knew this game was going to be ridiculous but hey a six-pack of beer this might come in handy if only I could fucking pick it up so let’s inspect the eggs what came first the chicken or the carton of eggs oh my god stop it just stop it hey I have these exact cutting boards in my kitchen *laughs* same brand same make same pictures ah that’s amazing oh cool fucking ghost in the shell there in the wall right what’s up hey Frank is an asshole and he is a short fuse I should probably try not to piss him off hey Frank let me be frank with you for a sec oh you’re Frank *laughs* sup Frank how’s it going dude wait you’re not drunk are you ah no why do you ask I am plastered dude I had like 12 shots I’m gonna go drink orange juice see you later frank I’m hammered you’re dead asshole… wait what? umm yeah wait what!? accurate fucking reaction ok he just closed the freezer door yes because conservation of energy and wasting money is more important than kicking my ass I agree Frank well let me be frank for a second let me close this door can I close the Frank ah he push the door open what do we do Frank let’s settle this with a big old game of beer pong we can talk about this Frank Frank Frank don’t hurt me don’t hurt me I-Imma small close door close door yes fuck how did he do that Madison help Franks trying to kick my ass my..madison yeah that’s right block of off the path ok here we go how the fuck are you people all teleporting everywhere i’ma talk to you who are you you look nice Brittany’s all alone in this room and she looks sad wonder if I could cheer her up FUCK! oh ok hey that didn’t go so well the first time I got myself punched and drunk no I need to find love and have punch drunk love and its gonna be a great party *hic* hey Madison how’s it going how are you hey again are you lost I don’t know I got punched really hard by Frank now I don’t know where I am is this the 50s uh yeah can you tell me where the bathroom is I’ll check you later mads sure go up stairs. Go up stairs! past the bedroom first door to you’re left I actually have my phone in there somewhere can you be a doll and give it to me sure thing but also i’m gonna do a little snooper doo in your phony doo first door on a left is this it..Haha! I found it… *confused* where’s your phone? Madison. Mads. I’m not finding a little phone a tron *whisper* what the fuck I can just take I can just will a hand into existence don’t fucking do anything oh cool let’s just get rid of old handy there Handy Andy let’s just keep playing the game okay open fucking phone anywhere ah you meant the master bedroom bathroom I remember you said that and I ignored it looks like somebody left her phone here yeah its Mads crack the code it’s a detective spy game detective Jack all about where’s the password the password has to be somewhere Mads I couldn’t find your phone but also what’s the password to get into it there’s a fucking safe in here use Madison’s phone put the phone on the lock it will crack both of them right no okay we need a safe code do this awesome Imma steal all the shit here’s me thinking that this game is what stealing hearts but it about stealing information technology and money those I can do Hey Brittney how’s it going Oh hey, how’s it going I don’t believe we met. I’m Brittney. Chow bella … what?! I just said hi to her now I’m saying bye to her I don’t wanna say bye to her uh give Madison’s phone Brittney doesn’t want that right now well what does brittney want out of life Call James Tuesday is his name Tuesday or you telling me to call him on Tuesday that’s what I’d like to know also use Madison’s phone. Can’t do that I can do whatever I fucking want Fucking mac get a pc what are you some sort of macist why not just use both huh every think about that. Ima take a drink. Hey asshole I see you with that booze you’re dead…Ima leave ima leave i’m just going to get away from the conversation over here and talk to somebody else and hopefully break the game what’s up Stephanie Stephanie help me help me put me under fire oh it’s buried out over here hey Frank Frank let’s be civil about this Frank Frank is too far away to interact with well Frank looks like you lee is one interaction that he wants to do with me and I’m not into that interaction forgive me a four faced last time I don’t want that Frank we be friends fuck Frank hate that guy let’s try this yay not advice hey I don’t like you know you’re the very same here whoop-dee-doo I like cooking your belly button for this one yeah sure thing i’ll look at your phone I didn’t put it in my fog okay I’m going to get this phone I’m actually went in fact whisper flowers progressive story or no fucking chase that’s priced can you knock before coming out of the room but I’m going at your day life right yeah fucking freaky smiley bus white people think wake me up sharp teeth cheeky crack the code I don’t need you i need to give back to madison and be a nice person creole stop teleporting in and out of existence please thanks that’d be great I’m in a fucking wrong place go out there last night masuk five it fall get my defense oh yeah oh my god you put my bumpers on my hey no sweat babe ah ok guy not Loco talk hey guy you lost this reward for turning your phone feel like maybe kiss something in store maybe you still little reach-around got butcheek I’ll mash this up to you you’d be so weird right now why aren’t you a bold one I suppose you did sort of save the day I’ll tell you what let me play a prank on my sister there might be more than just a kiss waiting for you when we’re doing if you catch my drift well I catch your drift like a fucking boat Madison let me think about that before I give you an answer no haha hell yeah man I’m your guy how’d it get started okay so here’s the do I already accidentally supposed to appear all over ass oh my god write a fucking book and send it to a publisher and then maybe I’ll buy the ship at your talent I like my clothes away she can’t find something else to wear my plan is to first get hurt you think her only option is to strip down and wash her clothes what does he ever clothes in the wash let me just need to force res of the parade her around naked to all the party guests clothes Ashley the scene you can get her to trust you enough to get a close in Washington Madison a fucking hello Madison I don’t think you understand how humans work alright so that’s the lovely painting of the girl from the ring naked Jesus creature here picking up hey so you’re the sister hi yes hello ok so we’re back just make a breaking founder she stood up straight like The Exorcist hi I’m Ashley the Madison sister nice to meet you see resemblance between you and Madison you pose an exacting character except you have been more bodacious Lee gifted your Madison sister never would have guessed you’re way hotter than sheer talker that’s so I get them to trust me that’s how you get so much to say to take their clothes off and play a prank on them say that they’re hotter than the sister you okay you seem a little distracted also you look like you got a bit of a space face going on this one thing that’s really sweet cuz it watch me put my arms through the fucking couch I bend them back like an go to perform some sort of demon ritual and no sweat seriously you have no sweat how you do that hey again how’s it going because these are able to see you messin you okay seem another strike what’s the deal you Madison seem a little distracted sorry I don’t think we know each other well enough to get into it so please oh stop Jax dr. Jackie the building I I’m all ears Madison I’ve having a conversation between me and you’re hotter sister if you kept up the couch okay okay damn I should have gotten or a little better at first oh I’ll get to know her a little better please don’t compare me to her not exactly getting along at the moment mmm interesting knife and madison you know how to fight of the old mad situation okay jesus fucking christ if you want to leave just leave yes see you later go talk to Frank maybe punch in the face ever since I was a dog punch her in the face Frank everybody joke it Spock and he’ll he’s gonna start including planks to me and embarrass me she supposed to mitigating me especially front of a friend no one Dame she sold all my clothes and towers was in the bathroom that’s run around naked another pond scum was awful yeah that’s enough serious sibling rightly going on it sibling rivalry that’s smart see you later Ashley hey what the fuck are you two actually considering against me while I’m right here oh okay so she would see she knew she knows that it might have played a prank it’s led sorry i’m just a fucking nice parsec system and i want to fuck a play plank and your sister where a trade get her to know me and then take a close up put them into Washington parade around outside ball you get first you Madison excuse me while I go take this call haha yeah you okay there you do it all right Catherine yo yo yo whatever listen see hear and appreciate this fucking cardboard dancing for a second yeah dance off dance off whoever loses gets thrown in the fire oh I don’t know if you’re going to be Stephanie ah ok I’m just going to call you hayley williams because that’s who you look like Jesus cuz she is fucking sick what you want to go and look you thought towards the fucking death of Saxon here what a fucking cold miss no name that’s Rachel of course i love how this looks nothing like this hopefully we went I’m Rachel mics and meet you Rachel Thanks makes me to fucking problem see you around okay how’s it going I like your sweater it makes you sweat I mean uh fun whether we’re happy seriously what’s my sign that’s the best you can come with up with nada an apology fine I see woof I like your sweater I was this something hot side to the sweet you saved it again Casanova this bird is ok but I really wish you could do some whip it ah I know that is a rip it’s the drugs cuz I don’t fucking know then I often don’t I mean yeah drugs drugs I smoke and drink them all the time Stephanie haha so we have those crazy dance moves because you’re fucking high on coke Siri what are whippet no not a fucking English whippet dog whippet smart connoisseurs of compressed nitrous oxide intended for cooking and baking purposes which are inhale for a momentary hi okay I guess that’s why the call it getting baked what can got you Stephanie don’t even worry there’s a whole box of lipid no I need to find a little snips the witness snippets put it that’s my motto let me how to find them fitted edited sneaking Madison how are you kind of whisper in your ear where are the weapons might offend I need to find am I maybe go talk to Brittany maybe she saw look but you had 90 represented honey bear and any rivers in the vent the baby’s room you know if I should trust this place this guy looks like he’d know where the fuckin wit me sir he has a constant nitrous smile on his face hey Joker Prince the words of drugs at your medicine fuck your party I’m going home it’ll give a shit anymore pretty boring as fucking the people out of there laid good on to play zelda fuck you don’t leave this episode here i have no idea how to progress this game it’s fucking ridiculous and these people are messed up i think they’re all on drugs where the fuck is going on I don’t know save your time people save your brain cells don’t play this game anyway thank you guys so much watches that sort of you if you LIKED IT, PUNCH that Like Button, IN THE FACE! LİKE A BOSS! And, *leans in, in deep voice* high fives all around.
Kw-psh! Kw-psh! But THANK YOU GUYS, and I will see all you dudes… IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!! [“I’m Everywhere” by Teknoaxe plays]
*outro* [music ends] Doing an outro is hard when you’re sick! I can’t do it!