Hi mermaids, welcome back to my channel if you’re new here, my name is Jude, hello. so I have spent the past three days in and out of hospitals and I don’t feel like talking about it right now I will probably make a video later once I know what the fuck is wrong with me, but I don’t But because I am tired and don’t want to do any real heavy lifting today We’re gonna talk about the Merversary that’s happening So, when you’re watching this it is now June first which is the merversary, the merversary is my mermaid anniversary or the date that I Changed my hair completely to blue and begin my metamorphosis Into the mermaid Queen. I’ve made a video about this before you can go ahead and watch my five year anniversary video But I want to kind of talk about the merversary and what it means and why it exists and why it’s just so much more than a hair color So in 2012 I decided — I had streaks in my hair, and I decided that I just wanted to dye my whole hair blue. I wanted to re-invent myself as a new human. I changed my name to Jude. I dyed my hair. I around that time Decided that I wanted to do content creation. Like it all happened around the same time and Me dyeing my hair blue was a big big thing because when you have blue hair you are immediately calling attention to yourself. You are telling people that you want them to look at you even if that’s not exactly true, and it’s very very fear inducing So the merversary is about self-discovery, facing your fears fighting for your dreams Planning your ambitions and goals and thinking about the year ahead, and manifesting, right? Almost every year on June first, I’ve had some kind of life change happen whether that’s dyeing my hair Moving into my first big-girl apartment, moving into a different apartment graduation Like all of those things happened around the same time around June 1st, around the merversary, and this year I kind of want to reflect on What the past year of my life has looked like and what I want this year to look like, right? so the past year of my life has kind of been a whirlwind and It’s been a lot of me deciding that I want to pursue content creation full-time, which is terrifying and pursue YouTube full-time and pursue photography full-time like pursue all these things that people tell me consistently are not sustainable and as someone who has multiple barriers in her way it is terrifying for me to know that I might fail but I literally have the goddess over my shoulders telling me that I Can’t really do anything else. So this is my calling, this is my passion. And so this is what I’m choosing to do I think this year I want to repair my relationship With food and movement, once I get back from a camp I’m going to sign up for a new york city rec center so that I can go to the pool and start swimming again and just get my body moving because it’ll help with my hypermobility and my joint pain and I think another thing that’s scary for me is looking all of my disorders in the face and Fighting against them like my ed is very very strong it is still here and it’s hard for me to admit that and deal with that but a part of facing like my fears is Dealing with my disorder and how it manifests itself, right? I think another thing I want to do this year is finally craft the Magic of choosing your self class that I’ve been talking about, which is going to be part lecture, slash group session, part photography thing but I still haven’t worked that out but I’m working on it and that’s scary because I can craft this class, pitch this class but There’s a possibility that no one wants to sign up and no one wants to take it and that’s okay But I am going to be in the process of doing that and making that there are lots of scary things that are involved with Me pursuing the things that I’m pursuing but the fear isn’t going to make me stop pursuing them. Again. I can cry and build an empire at the same time I’m building an empire and the merversary is really really special for me because it is an anniversary of celebrating yourself and choosing yourself and choosing the things that you want to accomplish and it has nothing to do with anybody else It’s about you. And so I want to know what are the things that you want to accomplish this year? What are the things that you’re excited about? What are the things that scare you that you also want to accomplish? and leave those in the comments below or share them over on instagram with hashtag merversary and I will be sharing those to my Instagram story throughout the weekend. I have lots of things that I’m terrified of but I want to do this year and I will be documenting them and posting them and It’ll be fun. I’m excited to discover New interesting facets of myself because we are constantly changing and constantly shifting and it’s disingenuous First to believe that we will always be the same all the time the beauty of life is that we are constantly changing, change is a part of life and it’s terrifying and not Fun all the time, but it’s so fulfilling because you get to learn so much more about yourself and who you are and and what you want to make space for and I want to continue to make space for y’all, the mermaid kingdom, because y’all inspire me every day Y’all have given me so much support y’all for the past three days have been in my dms wishing me well And that means so much to me. It really does. as my life has imploded over and over and over. Yeah, thank you so much for 2k. It really means a lot to me I know that it’s not a big number in the grand scheme of things But for me as a smaller creator it means the world to me that I have 2000 of you following me Even if 2,000 of you aren’t clicking on my videos every week. It just means a lot to me It means that I’m moving in the right direction It means that I’m communicating the things that I need to communicate in order to celebrate 2k I did release new merch, you can see the design right here. And I’ll link that in the description as well So I’m celebrating the merversary a little bit different this year Normally, I just take a day and I do things that are fearful and that’s it And then I don’t think about it again but this year I want continually do things that scare me. I wanna continually do things that push me into being a better person a more well-rounded person someone who is not that afraid of change and with change comes Discomfort and I think I’ve gotten comfortable with not being uncomfortable and that’s something that I would like to get back to I think because my life has been continuously imploding on itself. I’ve gotten comfortable and I’m not growing in the way that I want to be growing so I’m gonna be doing things that scare me I’m gonna be doing things that are fearful. I’m gonna be doing things that make me a little uncomfortable yeah, one of those things is going to a camp where I literally only know one person or two people and make new friends and Share a cabin with fifteen other people because autostraddle was so so so kind to give me a campership I will be making a video on that but that’s something that is terrifying to me, but I’m doing it because it’s it’s Important it is important. I’ll be going to pride which is another thing that’s a little bit scary for me I’m gonna be doing things that are a little bit scary and a little bit exhilarating because with fear also comes this exhilaration and so, the merversary is about facing your fears and chasing the dreams are – is all about the exhilaration of being human and the exhilaration of being alive because as someone who has been suicidal Me being alive is about chasing the things that make me feel And so the merversary is also kind of a celebration of that Alright mermaids. I think that’s it. So Again, I’m gonna be away at camp. So there are gonna be some pre filmed videos Tuesdays video is not gonna technically be a pre film but the two videos after that are gonna be pre filmed So if you comment and I don’t comment back don’t be alarmed It’s just I’m in the middle of the woods with a bunch of queer people Alright, if you like this video, um, you can go ahead and subscribe down below you can also hit the Notification bell so that you can know whenever I upload if you want to give this video a thumbs up or comment I would really appreciate it if you want to support me with your dollars You can go ahead and do that over on patreon If you want to be a part of the mermaid kingdom, all of my social media links are down in the description And I think that’s it. So just keep swimming, sigue nadando, and I’ll see you on Tuesday bye!