– 2000 is equal to a ton, right? And we have had a ton of fun–
that’s a good segue, right? The past 2000 shows, it’s impossible
to pick one favorite moment, so I put a whole bunch
of ’em together. Enjoy. What I feel like this is,
we’re starting a relationship. Thank you for being
on our very first show. – I have a gift for you.
It’s a welcome mat… – It’s a welcome mat, thank you!
– For your–for your guests. [cheers and applause] [U2’s “City of Blinding Lights”] – Come on, Ellen.
Engage boosters. [music continues] – You gotta really
want that job bad ’cause that’s tons of pressure. – It’s like being
the host of “Ellen.” – It’s almost
that kinda pressure. I would like to say, right now,
for the first time, I am announcing,
I am getting married. [cheers and applause] – [singing]
You look so beautiful to me – I’ve never been so happy
in my whole life. – [laughs]
– Whoo! – Ah, that’s good.
– All right… – That’s a good stretch.
Yeah. – I’m very happy
that you have this show. You seem really happy
on this show. – Thanks.
I am happy. – And, uh, this is a… a loony bin.
– Yeah. – That’s what it is really.
– Yeah. [Kongos’ “Come With Me Now”] – [singing]
Come with me now I’m gonna take you down Walk
Come with me now – Is this the first time
you’ve been on TV before? – No, honey,
I’ve been on TV before. I was on–listen,
I’ll be honest with you. – Yeah.
– I love Jesus, but I drink a little. [laughter] Only a little. [music continues] – [singing]
Afraid to lose control Caught up in this world I’ve wasted time
I’ve wasted breath I think I’ve thought myself
to death I was born without this fear – Dennis Quaid is here.
– Dennis Quaid is here! [laughter] – Dennis Quaid wants a coffee. [laughter] I would like to have, uh,
what kind of coffee do I want? – I want a spiced latte decaf.
– I want a spiced latte decaf. – Oh, I just ate
so much chocolate. I’m full. – Oh, I just ate
so much chocolate. I’m full. [laughter] [techno music] – I’m wearing your glasses
you sent me. – Don’t you just love ’em?
– I love ’em! – They are so comfortable!
– [laughs] I’m glad you got them! – Quick.
[laughing] – Five, four, three… – Well–
[laughing] Would those really work
to keep your manicure perfect? [laughter] They could fall off or you could
accidentally swallow one, so I have a better idea. Look at these. [laughter] – I’m a huge fan.
– And I’m a huge fan of yours. I think you are so funny
for years and years, and sweet and sexy and funny
and the whole thing. – Oh.
Oh, well. – Okay, let’s talk about you…
– Okay. – And, uh…
– Finally. – [laughs] – Here’s Ellen.
Here’s the world. – [laughs] – We love you, Ellen! crowd chanting:
Ellen! Ellen! [Justin Bieber’s
“All Around the World”] – [singing]
To be loved All around the world
people want to be loved Oh oh oh oh oh oh – What is up, New York? [cheers and applause] [music continues] – [singing]
All around the world [music continues] Crazy girl
Crazy girl You should know [laughter] Light it up
Light it up So explosive Crazy girl
Yeah yeah Baby what you doing?
Where you at? – You said that you love
Nicki Minaj, right? Do you wanna meet her?
– Yes! – Come on out, Nicki! [cheers and applause] – [screams] – I’m a second Nicki Ninaj! – [singing]
All around the world They’re no different than us [screams] Trick or treat. [both scream] [both scream] – I was just wondering if you
could do more pushups than I can do. – You know, I–it depends
on how your back is. I know you’ve got
these back issues. – No, no.
– [laughs] [cheers and applause] – [singing]
Yeah all around the world They’re no different than us – [laughs] – [singing]
All around the world. People want to be loved Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh All around the world – [laughing] [music continues] – [singing]
All around the world Oh oh oh
All around the world [upbeat music] – Ah.
[both laugh] – I was looking into the camera.
– Do you see what you did now? – [laughing and mouthing]
Oh, my God. – What the [bleep] did she do? – Did I hurt you? – Am I–am I okay? – No.
– It’s okay? – No.
– It’s okay, let’s do it. – Our next guest knows more
about holiday crafting than anybody on Earth. The one and only,
Martha Stewart. So, then these holes are
for your legs. – We know how to do nothing. – [laughs] – Martha–
[both scream] – [laughs] [One Direction’s
“Save You Tonight”] – I can think of
at least 100 uses for this. – Okay, well, maybe some of them
you should keep to yourself. Yeah…
– Bradley plays a chef in a new movie, so we thought
we’d do a cooking demo. Look at the carrots.
Oh… It’s important to taste them.
Make sure that– They’re delicious.
Mmm. [cheers and applause] [music continues] – You want me to help you? – [laughs]
Okay. Thank you so much.
You’re a doll. – [laughs]
– You’re a doll. – Thanks. [laughter] – [singing]
I can’t be no superman But for you I’ll be super human – Ah…
– Boy. – Girl stop playing with me.
– Yeah. – [singing]
Save you tonight – I apologize for doing it,
but I broke your retweet record. [cheers and applause] – I, uh, I heard about that. I thought it was
a pretty cheap stunt myself. – Yeah, right. Congratulations on winning. – You were absolutely amazing. I mean, the best host ever… [cheers and applause] And I’m so glad that, you know, this happened
last night with you. – [singing]
I I wanna save you Wanna save your heart tonight – Although a lot has changed, a few things
have stayed the same. How much I love my audience. How much I love coming to work
and helping people. That feels good to me. I met George Clooney. Oh, I got a star
on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. [cheers and applause] I stood here and I asked you
to let me into your homes, and you did. – [singing]
Take you with me [cheers and applause] – Thank all of you.
Thank you so much.